I sat and poured myself another drink, a distant noise sounded, a crowd cheering perhaps or a machine a digger or drill, other than that silence and when it stopped only silence. The noises began to appear one by one as though the whole world was slowly awakening, birds in the distance, a car engine firing up, the rustle of leaves in the warm breeze. Birds, closer now, as the message spreads across the valley floor from tree to tree. A clap of thunder from an aeroplane passing high overhead. A shovel dragged across concrete, a dog barking and in the distance a city, far away, I had to focus to hear it, but it must have been there all the time, even in the silence. The birds sang all around now and I could see the sea through the dispersing mist of heat.
Sitting, waiting, contemplating, trying to work out how to fill this void. Undistracted, not looking for a distraction, not looking for an escape, a way to pass the time without knowing, my life seems filled with these moments, that pass without your control, is there another way to stay in control. To sit and think about the time as it passes and make plans for things you’ll never do, is this wasteful, or preemptive or just shit.
